I’m my dog’s favorite person, and that’s enough.
or become old enough to realize…you are no longer the main character in your own life.
I definitely remember the turning point.
Seeing a tiny version of something who raise (either human or furball) get older and do things outside of your control, and all you can do is set them up for success.
Kinda like playing The Sims.
I don’t need to be someone’s favorite person, I don’t think. But I’ve grown exhausted with “uneven” friendships. I feel like every relationship I try to maintain, it’s a one sided effort. I’m the only one reaching out. I take note of their interests and utilize that info, send them cool links, spark convos, etc. But don’t really get it in return.
Perhaps that’s too demanding of me? Unrealistic? If so, I don’t think I understand what friendship is supposed to be and likely never will.
Same thing with me. I’ve joined a notorious uni known for ragging and bullying. Being friendless can make you their target. If not for that, I would rather be isolated than fruitlessly try and make friends.
What the fuck is wrong with your place that there is bullying at university? I think most people left that shit in high school, and I could have gone for days at uni without interacting with someone if I wanted…
I think I must have told you that I’m not an American. It’s worse than high school in uni here because the staff gives no fuck.
Me neither. I was at one trade school and two universities in central Europe, and I haven’t heard of any serious bullying. At most at the trade school, because the average age was around 18-19 and “shop talk” is a bit rougher by default. But at uni, where half the people are like 25?
I think I mistook the meaning of the word uni. The oldest students in my college are 20. There is no 25 year olds here. Tbh, I’ve never personally known a person who is like 25 and studies irl.
Even if you have a more straightforward resumee than me… You finish school here at 18, 5 years planned time for most master degrees, that makes you 23-24. Longer if you take a detour here or there.
We finish grade school here at 15 yo. Then 2 years of pre-university college. Then we start our degree courses at 18. Most of them are 3-4 years. I think it’s because my college does not offer master degrees.
I’m my cats’ favorite person, but that’s only because they are indoor cats and I’m the only human in the house.
I have others in the house, but I feed her so she loves me the most. Conditional love works when the condition is easy to fulfill ❤️
the “floater friend”
Or do you ever realise that everyone percives you differently, so you’re a different person to different people.
NICE SIDEBURNS
THANK YOU, GO AWAY
Arthur my man!
Every day I go home knowing I’m the favorite person of 2 cats. Here both of them are laying on my lap.
For me it’s my two little dogs who get filled with so much energy when I come home that one does constant 360s and the other serenades me with vocal sounds with her little tail flailing around at high speeds.
I could be completely flat and done with the world untill I walk inside and I’m filled with joy by these 2 little shits.
Are you your own favorite person? If not, why not? What qualities about yourself make you feel like you’re not worthy of being the person you enjoy spending the most time with? If you are your own favorite person, why does it matter if someone else feels like they’d rather spend time with you over anyone else? I feel if you enjoy your own company when you’re completely alone then the relationships you develop with others become more genuine, because you actually enjoy spending time with those people, rather than just being desperate to not be alone with yourself.
I know you don’t actually want people to individually answer. But for me, I’m always making mistakes, never working hard enough, always doing the wrong thing, etc. I try but never hard enough. I fail every day at the things I try to do and get everything wrong all the time…most of it in terms of social interaction.
Because I’ve been very isolated and alone all my life, including home schooling, when I’m alone there’s this emptiness inside of me that never gets filled. I get so anxious when I’m alone and have slowly lost the ability to do things to distract myself from it.
Theres a difference between being lonely and alone, I used to be good at being alone but I’ve never been able to cope with being lonely. Life seems pointless without others in it.
But the more you interact with them, the more it’s revealed that people are mostly intolerable and disappointing. So, alone has it’s own merits.
Isolation is painful, I know that very well. There is a vast difference between having no one in your life and feeling incapable of being ok without company. People need community, we are social beings. The best advice I have for seeking friendship is to join groups you have affinity with. If you’re particularly interested in politics, art, music, movies, gardening, anime, 3D printing, TTRPGs, whatever it is you love spending time doing, find people in your area who get together to do those things and try to join them.
If, on the other hand, you have friends and community but still can’t stand the time you spend alone, address what about being by yourself creates that anxiety? What are you getting from constant company that you don’t have alone?
Thabk you for the kind words and taking time to respond.
I’ve put a lot of effort into making friends over the last 11 years, I had a good community and a hobby that got me out and about with people all the time, unfortunately during the pandemic I moved to one of the most socially isolating countries there is, it’s taken me 4 and a half years to make new friends but I have a bunch of friends again, but it just doesn’t seem like it’s enough, it never is. Even back home, with all I had going for me, I spent most of my time alone and felt this way.
The only thing I can think of is that they distract me from the emptiness, when they’re there, the emptiness is subdued for a while.
I’ve been doing tons of introspection on why I feel this way and I don’t know. I have BPD, which makes things difficult. I know that on a Saturday morning, if I haven’t got plans with someone, I wake up feeling like there’s no point in even waking up, my existence serves no purpose besides being there for my mom. I’ve lost interest in my hobbies because of a lifetime of never being able to afford what I need to complete anything, and anxiety and fear of failure has creeped into everything. I don’t even play games anymore unless it’s with someone.
Being alone feels terrifying and so so empty.
Now that I think about it, I’m not sure who IS my favorite person (?) Is there such a person at all? Do I need to rank them? I like a lot of people but kind of shy away from the ranking contest
Fair, I tend to think in terms of affinity rather than ranking, i have high affinity with some people and less with others. it’s not about rank, it’s about… Vibes? I guess? There’s probably a better word but codes it what comes to mind.
My partner is my favorite person and I’m his. I would assume it’s true for (at least) many couples. Am I missing something, or are people just lonely?
People are just lonely.
What about everyone else who does not have a partner?
Of course, I just felt the premise was too specific to be relatable, because many people are someone’s favorite, and it’s not typical to wonder if you are someone’s favorite even when your lonely. But maybe that’s just me.
Yeah, I don’t think this post is addressing folks who are in a relationship. 😅
Yeah, fair enough 😄
That would be majority of lemmy users.
That’s great but it’s important to have friendships outside of your relationship as well.
It’s that what the post is about?
Yeah…
I feel everyone is more important than I am. Everyone.
Yeah, but I have BPD, and know FPs are dangerous (still want one tho)
why do you need to be someone’s favourite person? if you make it to anyone’s top 10, that’s pretty cool already
I mean, I would prefer to be my partner’s favorite person, but I’m sure there are like 50 reasons that reveals I’m broken inside somehow. Or maybe it was that last part I added.
right, partners, I was just referring to friends
Nah
oh okay. thanks for answering.
Daily.
