Isolation is painful, I know that very well. There is a vast difference between having no one in your life and feeling incapable of being ok without company. People need community, we are social beings. The best advice I have for seeking friendship is to join groups you have affinity with. If you’re particularly interested in politics, art, music, movies, gardening, anime, 3D printing, TTRPGs, whatever it is you love spending time doing, find people in your area who get together to do those things and try to join them.
If, on the other hand, you have friends and community but still can’t stand the time you spend alone, address what about being by yourself creates that anxiety? What are you getting from constant company that you don’t have alone?
Thabk you for the kind words and taking time to respond.
I’ve put a lot of effort into making friends over the last 11 years, I had a good community and a hobby that got me out and about with people all the time, unfortunately during the pandemic I moved to one of the most socially isolating countries there is, it’s taken me 4 and a half years to make new friends but I have a bunch of friends again, but it just doesn’t seem like it’s enough, it never is. Even back home, with all I had going for me, I spent most of my time alone and felt this way.
The only thing I can think of is that they distract me from the emptiness, when they’re there, the emptiness is subdued for a while.
I’ve been doing tons of introspection on why I feel this way and I don’t know. I have BPD, which makes things difficult. I know that on a Saturday morning, if I haven’t got plans with someone, I wake up feeling like there’s no point in even waking up, my existence serves no purpose besides being there for my mom. I’ve lost interest in my hobbies because of a lifetime of never being able to afford what I need to complete anything, and anxiety and fear of failure has creeped into everything. I don’t even play games anymore unless it’s with someone.
Isolation is painful, I know that very well. There is a vast difference between having no one in your life and feeling incapable of being ok without company. People need community, we are social beings. The best advice I have for seeking friendship is to join groups you have affinity with. If you’re particularly interested in politics, art, music, movies, gardening, anime, 3D printing, TTRPGs, whatever it is you love spending time doing, find people in your area who get together to do those things and try to join them.
If, on the other hand, you have friends and community but still can’t stand the time you spend alone, address what about being by yourself creates that anxiety? What are you getting from constant company that you don’t have alone?
Thabk you for the kind words and taking time to respond.
I’ve put a lot of effort into making friends over the last 11 years, I had a good community and a hobby that got me out and about with people all the time, unfortunately during the pandemic I moved to one of the most socially isolating countries there is, it’s taken me 4 and a half years to make new friends but I have a bunch of friends again, but it just doesn’t seem like it’s enough, it never is. Even back home, with all I had going for me, I spent most of my time alone and felt this way.
The only thing I can think of is that they distract me from the emptiness, when they’re there, the emptiness is subdued for a while.
I’ve been doing tons of introspection on why I feel this way and I don’t know. I have BPD, which makes things difficult. I know that on a Saturday morning, if I haven’t got plans with someone, I wake up feeling like there’s no point in even waking up, my existence serves no purpose besides being there for my mom. I’ve lost interest in my hobbies because of a lifetime of never being able to afford what I need to complete anything, and anxiety and fear of failure has creeped into everything. I don’t even play games anymore unless it’s with someone.
Being alone feels terrifying and so so empty.