Symantec has watched me execute the same script I wrote dozens times before suddenly deciding that it is malicious.

What people expect:

✅Fix my box

❎Fuck my shit up

What we would get: System Kernel Interface

🔳 Regex Recursion

🔳 Kernel Language (Internal) [Dropdown: en-us, Dvorak, binary, Klingon, non-binary (Borg analog), Esperanto]

🔳 Ignore LPT on fire

🔳 Memory hole on sysctl

🔳 Mansplain man(8)

Yes. A worldwide service provider should be able to achieve at least 4 9s of uptime. That’s 99.99% available, or about <52 minutes of downtime a year. That’s accomplished through best practices with redundancy, planned maintenance, and solid disaster recovery plans.

The ways to achieve a disaster of this magnitude include:

• No hot spares
• • A security event has locked all redundant servers and they are now rebuilding servers from backup.
• Lack of effective redundancy
• • A disaster has occurred at one data center and the load sharing is causing the servers to be unresponsive
• • • This is unlikely because there would be intermittent reports of success
• Poor patching management
• • Patches were sent to all servers without proper testing or rollback strategy